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Monster Keys to Patriots Bills 

Let’s get a few things straight in this week’s opening drive. I do not hate the Bills. Not like I hate the Dolphins. Not even close to the way I hate the Jets. I just don’t hate the Bills. I hate their fucking fanbase. If there is a more obnoxious group of drunken reprobates on the planet I’d like to see them. These Table Diving – Dildo Tossing – Port-a-Potty Humping – Coke a Cola Snorting – Beer bong worshiping miscreants make me ill.

    Do me a favor and keep an eye on the crowd shots this week. Let me know if you see any kids in the crowd. Let me know if you see any groups of young women cheering on the Bills. I bet you don’t. Because Highmark stadium (Lowmark is more like it) is no place to bring the family. It’s no place to let your teenage daughter or son for that matter head off on a Sunday with their friends. Well asshats of orchard park i hope you enjoyed your 2020 season, because it’s 2021. Here are my Monster Keys to the Patriots burying the Billdoes. 

Hate To Beat a Dead Bison but

Get up quick. Two things get into the head of the forever overrated Josh Allen. Praise from the media. ( No one believes their own good press more than this kid) And falling behind to an opponent. Get up fast on this team, dig a hole that Allen will need to dig his team out of and he will collapse under the weight.

Nickels Dimes and Quarters  

Like Sollozzo to Don Vito Corleone I come to Don Hoodie and beg him for the coverages he carries around in his pocket “ Like So Many Nickels and Dimes “ Stay in zone but mix them up. Don’t lose track of Dawson Knox. 

Pressure Up the Middle 

Get into Allen’s face and good things will happen for the defense. Most QBs have issues in this area, but Allen needs a leather couch to lay down on and a sports psychologist after the third or fourth up the gut pressure package. use the ends to contain and force him read through his progressions and he will make poor decisions. 

Running Backs to Daylight 

Run the ball early, run it often, get into second and third and short. Use the best screen game in the NFL to move the chains. The Achilles heel of this Patriots offense and I had to look hard is third and more than five yards to go, Ride the best tandem in the NFL, Use Brandon Bolden wisely. 

The Weeklies

Limit the Laundry – The bills have been penalized 79 times this year for close to 700 yards. The Patriots need to let them keep shooting themselves in the foot. Take the freebee’s don’t give them up 

Own Third Down – the Bills convert at an astounding 50% on the year that number rises to 56% over their past three games, shut them down early and lets see this number drop. The Pats are only converting at 40% on the road this year. Get into short situations play in front of the sticks 

Win The Turnover Battle – an extra opportunity could be the game changer Monday, and the Bills are handing out turnovers like tic-tacs 

Don’t Settle – Sixes not threes. Please, I’m not kidding, give Nick the night off. with this forecast I would go for 2 on ever score. 

Twenty well placed Balls 

That’s it , that’s all Mccorkle gets this week. Twenty drop backs , to again hit men in stride and get me that YAC I crave. The O-Line needs to reestablish their bullying ways and open holes off tackle, Good old fashioned Gap – Lead – Backer type blocking, spring guys to the outside and protect on twenty drop backs to keep it all honest. Don’t lose track of Safeties Dr. Poyer and Mr. Hyde . 

That is it my rabid readers, I need to go take a shower maybe get a penicillin shot. Know this. I want this one and I want it badly. At the beginning of the season I didn’t think it was at all possible, three weeks ago i was thinking the Pats could come out of this set with a split. Now i want them both, it’s more than possible. Turn these keys and the Pats are halfway there. Turn the keys and shut up the great unwashed of upstate New York.

As always you can follow ? give me grief on Twitter @Tmurph207 

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